How to Approach Women at the Bar

How to Approach Women at the Bar

bar wingmanIt’s Friday night and you have a fresh new haircut. You feel pretty good about yourself. In fact, you spent the last five minutes admiring the suave young man in the mirror… oh wait that’s you. You are such a narcissist. Tonight, you and your friends (who happen to be your roommates) have made a pact to each leave with some lucky lady. Before you hit the streets and paint the town red, there are some things you should consider if want honor your promise and draw the awe of your companions.

Scoring women is a SOLO sport. Even if you are in a “pack” of guys, each member of the wolfpack is responsible for getting his own paddle wet. Sometimes it is cool to help your friends get phone numbers, but tonight is not the night to play wing man exclusively. It is a dog-eat-dog world when it comes to women, and the one who strikes first is usually the one who gets lucky.

If your group decides to take the “there’s power in numbers” approach, you should remember that this is most effective with an equal amount of women (or at least more women than you have friends). It isn’t necessary to pick which guy gets which girl before you approach them at the bar because the women ultimately chose who they want. Don’t be choosy; be happy that you’re talking to a decent woman who may allow you to have sex with her. However, if you and your friends need to switch women because of a personality conflict, do it and do it quickly. Chances are that these women are at least tipsy so they may not notice (or care) that you have replaced your friend who happens to hate all the movies that one of the girls love. The numbers approach encourages team play and this is the suitable time to boast (or blatantly lie) about your friend’s accolades and accomplishments. No one will even remember what was said the next morning.

For those of us who have had one too many friends render the numbers approach completely useless, attacking your goal solo isn’t the worst thing and it has its advantages. For example, you don’t have to compensate for your friend’s lack of communication skills and his unwillingness to stop chasing women who are out of his league. If you are alone, women won’t judge you by your company.

So you and your pack decide to divide and conquer, which makes the pact more competitive and interesting. If you want to be the sole victor (because you know your loser friends aren’t getting any ass), you have to know which girls to target at the bar. Since you are alone, it would be pretty bold to approach women in a group. But notice how I didn’t say it was stupid. Women are impressed with a guy who has the courage to talk to them with a group of vicious, judgmental hyenas—errr, women around her. You will get extra kudos if she thinks you’re attractive (not cute, cute is for stuffed animals, puppies, and boys). This approach is risky because you can easily get shot down and subsequently have your confidence blown for the rest of the night.

A safer tactic would be to wait for your “prey” to stray away from the pack. I’m not saying stalk the girl, but wait until she is alone. For example, if she is standing in line for the bathroom—or for a “line”— this is ample opportunity to spark up a conversation. If you can’t think of any icebreakers, women often relate to complaints. Complain about the line or the how watered down the drinks are. Just make sure you take your shot, because you might as well have missed it if you don’t make an attempt.

The types of women you would want in your cross hairs are quite simply the ones who are broadcasting that they are at the bar for more than just drinks. A woman will send signals that veteran men of the game know how to pick up. The most obvious signal is the “lustful” eye. It’s so painfully obvious that it baffles me that more men don’t take advantage of it. She is not looking past you every five minutes, that look is directed towards you. If a woman wants you she may also move closer to you in an attempt to get you to talk to her. Women may not make the first move but they will set you up perfectly for it (you’re welcome). It is also wise to pay attention to how a woman is dressed. Even though they say they don’t dress slutty to attract men, most women really do. If she’s straight, there is no way that low cut dress is to impress other women – at a bar of all places.

If your goal is to score, then be patient and take advantage of your opportunities. Girls go to the bar for the same reasons guys do. You just have to be lucky and tactful. Nothing feels better than telling your friends about your sexcapades knowing they went home alone.


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