10 Tips for Getting Rid of Your One Night Stand

10 Tips for Getting Rid of Your One Night Stand

one night standDid you take someone home last night that you met when you were out? Chances are that you had a great drunk time and now that euphoric “love/lust” feeling that you had is gone. We’ve all been there, whether you’re a girl  or guy.

The fun is over, your sleeping mate won’t leave and now, it’s time to initiate the “walk of shame!” for them.

You’re trying to be nice, but the girl/guy won’t get out of your bed, and you want to grab breakfast with your friends to recap the night. Or, if you’re really promiscuous, it’s still night time and you just want to head back out to the next party. You could say “Hey, get the f#@k out,” but for some reason you’re feeling sweet. No worries, you have come to the right place for advice! Here are some tips for escaping / getting the person out:

 

1. The Friend in Need: Text a friend and tell them to call you immediately. When they call, have them tell you that they need you to come over to help them with something urgent. Sound extremely concerned when on the phone with your friend. Use speaker phone if necessary to make the conversation explicit, but if you try this, make sure your friend is capable of handling the duties. Tell the person in your bed that you absolutely have to leave. Make it look like you’re just being a good friend. It’s an old trick, but always works.

2. The Morning After Regrets: Pretend you were really drunk the night before and that you’re embarrassed. Tell them that it would be best if they left because you need time to yourself . (This trick works better for women.)

one night stand meme3. Guests are Coming Over: Tell them that people are coming over and it may be inappropriate for them to see this situation. That way, you can both save face and hide your tryst. If the person proceeds to say ”pretend we’re just friends”… give them a “what you talkin’ bout Willis” stare and reply, “are we really? now get out!”

4. Don’t Shit Where You Eat: If you have the option, go to their house and leave when you are finished. Just get up and leave. Run if you have to. Just get out of there! They’ll hate you, and you’ll have ZERO chance of it happening again, but you’re free now…and isn’t that the goal anyway?

5. The Medical Condition: Tell the girl/guy you like to sleep alone. You snore, you toss & turn, maybe throw in something about insomnia or night terrors from some past trauma.

6. Work Comes First: Tell the girl/guy you have work the next day. You have to wake up early for an important meeting and need to be clear-headed and on-point.

7. Chivalry is NOT Dead: Call the girl/guy a cab and act like your are doing the right thing. (Jersey Shore Style)

8. Sobered Up Sally: This one is for the night of. If you are a girl, pretend you have just sobered up and start crying. Tell the dude you need time for yourself. (This is grimy, and you’re a dirt bag if you do this. But you gotta do what you gotta do!)

9. Love at First Sight: If you are bold, tell the person you love them. “We’ve got a Stage 5 clinger!” One of two things will happen. The person will run or stay. If they run, that’s cool. If they stay and say it back, you run! LOL…chances are you just met and it’s weird for anyone to think they’re in love after sharing a couple of shots of Popov at a random bar.

10. Plan Ahead: While falling asleep after fornicating, do one of those “oh shit, I have that thing tomorrow at 9am!” motions. Jerk your body in the bed and slap your forehead or hip like you really mean it. Sign and say under your breath “I guess I’ll have to be up at 8am to get ready.” They’ll be prepared to be out of your place early.

Good luck! Do YOU have any good tips ? Let us know in the comments!


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