10 Break Up Excuses Social Media Has Made Obsolete

10 Break Up Excuses Social Media Has Made Obsolete

social media relationship1Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Foursquare; the top social media websites that drive our desire to communicate ourselves to others on the web, and provide for the outlet on which we describe ourselves, post jokes and share other parts of our life. We also see these sites as new-age ways to make and maintain friendships. If someone were to ask about whether or not these websites and apps can lead to relationships as well, the majority would probably answer “yes.” An extrovert girlfriend may shout “I met my Nicky poo here on Facebook!!”  A hipster-ish guy pulling his girl tight may state “once I saw her Tumblr, I just knew she’d be the one”.

But what about the other side? What about when people are already IN a relationship, how does social media do them good? Listed below are 10 excuses to break up that no longer fly in an era where every move, mood, and “new friend” is posted for the world to see. Read em and weep Mark Zuckerburg. Hopefully your marriage doesn’t see one of these!

  1. I just don’t have any time right now” says the guy who is constantly blogging paragraphs on WordPress, and whose Facebook page blows him in for reading approx 22 Yahoo articles a day. Because those hobbies aren’t time consuming.. (Shaking my head)
  2. I’m moving away for work” comes from the pretty girl you have dating, only to see her “check in” to four places a day in the town she so slyly left behind for her “promotion”. Where’d ya move doll, down the block?
  3. I need more guy/girl time” states the significant other who is tagged in pics on Facebook with his or her closest group of same sex friends at least three times a week.. They are probably discussing his/her indiscretion in breaking up over drinks the poor, naive souls.
  4. It’s me, of course I am not into other girls” yells the dude whoonly re-blogs on Tumblr photos of half-naked porn stars, because that shouldn’t be unsettling to the most insecure breed of human there is: new girlfriends.
  5. social media relationship“I just really need to focus on work right now” says the marketing strategist who is constantly Tweeting about how drunk they are at happy hour and how they then spend hours at the gym working out. Work being the single life maybe..?
  6. I just don’t want to be in a relationship right now“.. Wait, now that one sounds legitimate.. Until they change their relationship status on Facebook to “in a relationship” two short weeks after.
  7. “I am still not over my ex, i’m sorry” coming from the person who, just recently messaged their ex on Facebook saying, ” I am over you please stop contacting me”, then left it open on their partners iPad, whoops!
  8. I need some time away from dating/members of the opposite sex right now” says the guy/girl whose Instagram is chalk full of party/bar pictures of them draped around party-goers of their opposing gender. Nothing says “me time” like drunken cheek-kiss pictures with 10 potential sex partners a night.
  9. “I shouldn’t be dating anyone right now” pretty generic, legitimate and widely accepted… until your profile pops up on both Match.com and eHarmony..
  10. “My money situation is just really bad right now, and I want to be able to treat you the way you deserve” states the “starving artist” who just days later posts his/her new car, rim-job and celebration meal at pretentious restaurant of town of residency… The “I get money” Tweets to compliment were the icing on the “you just wanted to break up with me”cake your ex was still working on. Yum.

So as we can see social media cites, as much as they account for maintaing relationships, can also make for some pretty obvious false reasons to end relationships as well. Next time you wanna break up with your over-clingy beau of just a few months, make sure to “hide” recent activity and make private any Tweets that don’t support your “i’m just really busy right now” cover.


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